A Complicated Legacy: The Life of David Donald Spivey

David Spivey -
Wilmington High School Yearbook 1965

I wrote this blog post as a part of an assignment for my Historical Professions course at Liberty University. The assignment tasked students to explore some aspect of their family history, ideally the goal being to use genealogical sources and to share some either interesting or uplifting message.

For my post, I have chosen to write about my maternal grandfather, David Donald Spivey, or Papa as I called him growing up. For this post, I have utilized records from ancestry.com, obituaries, family stories, and personal memories of a man whose legacy is not only significant to those of us in his family, but is also a representation of the struggles and pain that an entire generation of veterans experienced after their service in Vietnam.

David Donald Spivey was born on September 26, 1947, in Joliet, Illinois, to Donald and Evelyn Spivey. He was the first of two sons that Donald and Evelyn raised in the small rural community of Wilmington, Illinois. Donald and Evelyn Spivey were both active members of the First United Methodist Church in Wilmington, IL. 

David’s father Donald Spivey had served in the United States Army during World War II, enlisting in 1941 and finishing his service in 1945. After completing his military service Donald Spivey would go on to pursue a career as a Illinois State Police Officer. Donald lived out his adult life in Wilmington, IL before his passing in 1995.

David’s mother Evelyn, was the center of the family who stayed home to raise her two boys. Evelyn was an avid reader and enjoyed crocheting. Evelyn spent the majority of her life living in Wilmington, Il before moving to Spokane, Washington to spend time with her youngest son and his family in 2010. Evelyn passed away February 17, 2017 in Spokane, WA and her remains were brought back to Wilmington, IL to be laid to rest with her late husband.

On May 13, 1968 at 20 years old, David enlisted in the United States Army and served in the Vietnam War until March 20, 1970. The time that David spent in Vietnam left a lasting impact on him and his family. Like many veterans, David returned home with severe PTSD, which would lead to lifelong battles mentally, physically and emotionally. These challenges followed David for the entirety of his life and have left continuing impacts on his children and other family members as 

What’s harder to reckon with than even those battles is how he was treated upon his return. With the Vietnam War being such a controversial time in United States history, David was not welcomed home with gratitude. Instead, he was discharged and left by the United States government in California — thousands of miles from his family in Illinois — to find his own way home. As David attempted to make his way back to the airport to get home to his family, he was spit on, mugged and called a “baby killer.” 

This experience was not something that was unique to David, it was a dehumanizing and traumatic moment that thousands of other soldiers returning from Vietnam faced. These veterans were met with hatred, disgust and blame which made it difficult for them to receive the help they needed. They were not acknowledged for their service for almost two decades. David attended the first “Welcome Home” parade for Vietnam veterans in Chicago in 1986 — 16 years after he had returned home from his service in Vietnam. 

Though David lived with many challenges after his time in Vietnam, he worked hard to build a life in spite of them. Prior to his service in Vietnam, David had married Mary Alice “Butch” Miller. Together they had three children, a son Patrick, and two daughters Chrissandra and Tiffany. Chrissandra was born with a birth defect called Spina Bifida and passed away as an infant.

David worked as a machinist for Caterpillar Tractor Corporation, and became a member of several organizations including the Malcom J. Mayo Post V.F.W., the Aerospace and Machinist Workers A.F.L.-C.I.O., and the NRA. He was well known in his community and even today you can still find people in the town of Wilmington, IL that have a funny Dave Spivey story or two to share.

David passed away on December 2, 2001 at the age of 54 in his home in Wilmington after battling pancreatic cancer. He was laid to rest with military honors at Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery in Elwood, Illinois.

Though David’s life was filled with challenges, his story is also one of persistence and survival. He pushed through all of the things that life threw at him, and while his actions and choices were not always perfect he did the best he could to provide for his family and get through. 

Though his story may not be the most uplifting one, it does show us that true love is unconditional, and that to tell someone’s whole story, even the hard parts, is the best way to honor them, and the courage and endurance that they showed throughout their life.

David’s life reminds us that heroes don’t always look the way that we expect them too, sometimes their lives are messy and burdened, but that what sets them apart and makes them special is that they carry those burdens the best they can, persist, and still manage to show love to those around them despite the pain they carry.